REVIEW: Mindwarp

No, not the mind probe! Oh, wait, wrong story...

Philip Martin. Strange creatures. Deception. Amazing non-wobbly sets. Good lighting. Sil! Brian Blessed!?! This really has the makings of a top-notch Doctor Who story, and in many respects it is. Of the three main stories that comprise The Trial of a Time Lord, this one is definitely the best, hands down. And yet...

Let's recap. Colin Baker's initial two seasons as the Doctor were marked by a slightly uncomfortable feeling that maybe, just maybe, the Doctor wasn't such a nice man in his latest incarnation. While I personally think this was a clever conceit on the part of script editor Eric Saward, keeping the audience guessing and throwing our assumptions about the Doctor out of the window, it just wasn't popular. Indeed, it was one of the reasons why Colin's on-screen Doctor turned a lot of fans off the series. This was through no fault of Colin's, who played the part with gusto. But seeing the Doctor attempt to strangle his companion and then continually snipe at her throughout the rest of the season was perhaps a big ask for a show whose main audience were children. I think it was brave, I think it was an interesting avenue to explore, but ultimately it just didn't suit the show at the time. Fast forward to Mindwarp, and having previously established the warm credentials of the Doctor and his relationship with Peri in the preceding story, we now find the Doctor is... back to being a rum cove all over again. For another Doctor in another season, I think it would have been an excellent idea; but for Colin Baker's Doctor, at a time when the show was fighting to stay alive... I really do feel it was misjudged. Particularly as it is never properly explained why he goes loopy and turns on Peri. Something to do with after effects from the mind helmet? Dodgy matrix evidence? Bipolar depression? We'll never really know.

"Peri, you're still an egotistical young lady."

Allowing for that, and the fact that an excellent story keeps getting interrupted by the Valeyard...

"Remember me?" Of course. The writers won't let us forget.

...Mindwarp is a brilliant story. The Doctor and Peri land on Thoros Beta, homeworld to the slug-like Mentors and their Thoros Alphan slaves. The Mentors are arch-capitalist traders who play dirty. Their latest ploy is to secure business deals by tinkering with the brains of those who must sign the contract. In this case, King Yrcanos of the Krontep, played by the exceptional Brian Blessed. Philip Martin himself admits that the character was essentially written for Blessed, and it shows. Adding Brian to any story gives it a great dollop of fun and mischief, Mindwarp being no exception. He has a veritable catalogue of hisses, hums, whistles and war cries (varoonik!), plus anyone who crosses him is labelled "scum" (including the Doctor, in what must be the funniest exchange of words in the story). He also has a rather natty costume:

Shogun meets Shakespeare

 We also have the disgustingly splendid Sil making a return appearance, first seen in Martin's previous story "Vengeance on Varos". Sil is a great villain, at once both hateful and strangely endearing. Nabil Shaban plays him with evident relish, marsh minnows and all:

Slurrrrp

All is not well with Sil, however, as the Lord Kiv (Christopher Ryan) is suffering from an expanding brain that won't fit inside his skull. The Mentors employ a scientist called Crozier (Patrick Ryecart) to assist in transferring his brain into another more capacious body. Crozier is a proper gentleman-villain, received pronunciation and flickering eyebrows aplenty.

"Where's my monocle?"

He's also partial to a good old cuppa:

"Mmm, this BBC canteen tea is excellent."

Along the way, Kiv has a temporary transfer into a younger body - which neatly explains why Sil is now green, where before he was brown in the Varos story. It seems that as Mentors age, they go green. Sort of like a reverse leaf. How delightful.

Mutton dressed as lamb?

A special shout-out should also go to Dorf the Lukoser (Thomas Branch), an oft-neglected character in this story who I personally think is a great addition. His makeup (whilst undoubtedly painful for Branch to deal with) works incredibly well. He genuinely looks like a man-wolf cross, where neither species has fully taken control.

Woof!

The set design and lighting for this story is first class. Avoiding the typical Who floodlighting helps to keep this story dark and sinister. Not only that, but it helps to forgive any number of set flaws which may or may not exist - we can't tell. It makes you wonder why they didn't opt for dim lighting in more Who stories. The first scene on Thoros Beta is one of the first times in Who history that an alien world looks truly alien and not just a quarry:

Pink sea, green sky, ringed planet... wait, where's the limestone?

The fact that the filming crew misjudged the tides and had to have the TARDIS land in the middle of it all actually makes the opening scene even more cinematic. Elsewhere, we have scenes like this one, of Crozier's underground laboratory, which are really well composed:

Amazing what a *lack* of light will do for your budget

Of course, aside from Crozier's supremely retro tea cup, we also have the 'futuristic' laboratory replete with what appear to be typewriters...

QWERTY or Dvorak?

...and alien ambassadors who really do look like an afterthought:

"Halloween mask from Tesco's? Yeah, no worries."

But then, it wouldn't be Who without these sorts of touches.

All of this and I still haven't covered the truly shocking ending. This was to be Peri's last story, and Philip Martin does a splendid job of foreshadowing this by giving her a lovely dialogue with Yrcanos in which she talks about her homesickness. 

Like an Eastenders Christmas Special. Except, you know, happy.

It's a touching scene, and by this point we're really gunning for Peri, especially as our usual hero is off doing dodgy deals with Sil. Which, incidentally, helps to explain why the Doctor is never strapped for a bob or two. It stands to reason that if the Doctor needs a few extra grotzits, all he has to do is place a couple of trades on the intergalactic futures market, and bingo.

"I wonder why the Mondas spot price for gold is so bad?"

Anyway, back to Peri. Instead of the usual, slightly mawkish parting in which the Doctor awkwardly shuts the TARDIS door while an erstwhile companion stumbles back into their old life, Martin opted for the nuclear approach. Peri becomes Lord Kiv's brain host, and her own mind is forever lost.

♫ I'm... too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt... ♫

Her voice as Kiv is deeply disturbing, and the final scene in which she booms "I am your lord and master now!" at Yrcanos is just chilling. It's such a powerful ending that I'm just going to gloss over the fact that the Who production team tried to fudge it and pretend that wasn't how the story ended. As far as I'm concerned, that is how it ended - and rightly so. It does a disservice to Martin's writing and Nicola Bryant's acting to make out otherwise. Plus, can you really imagine Yrcanos and Peri happily married together? Seriously?

"NO! We're NOT watching anymore Emmerdale! I want to watch the FOOTY!"

As for the Trial scenes, the less said about them the better. The jury is "out" once again...

"Just... resting my eyes, Sagacity..."

...and what could have been the best closing scene for a Who story in decades is ruined by having to go back to the wretched courtroom for, you guessed it, another Doctor closeup.

Colin Baker Cliffhanger Face #8

All in all, Mindwarp remains the best story of the Trial arc, and on its own merits one of the best stories of Colin Baker's tenure. 

Next time... The Terror of the Vervoids!